Men's Inability to Commit...Now a Video Game!

Do I look amused by your indecisiveness?

I remember when I first heard about Catherine when it came out in Japan, as it grabbed attention for being "not your everyday" game. Being described as a relationship sim with block puzzles definitely sounded like nothing I played before and, when it got around to coming out in the states, I figured different is always good. Mostly. After having a run through the story and gotten a good grasp of what Catherine offers, I think it definitely deserves some attention for what does and tries to do, despite some teethgrindly, frustratingly, bash- your-head-against-the-wall moments.

The story is presented as something like an afternoon special, complete with a narrator with a huge afro welcoming you the story of Catherine, a creepy tale of a young man struggling with his relationship. Vincent, 32, has been dating his girlfriend, Katherine, for several years and is thrown for a loop when she starts pushing him to settle down and marry her. She's a bit pushy and somewhat nagging, not to mention possibly pregnant, and Vincent begins to freak out at the realization that his life is gaining more responsibility. Then, during a night of drinking, he meets Catherine, a young blond with revealing clothes and a nice rack who's the polar opposite of Catherine. As if he accidentally falls into her, Vincent ends up sleeping with Catherine, again and again, and doesn't know what do to as he gets hammered with his friends at night and complains about it. As all this is going on, a curse has be set upon the men of...wherever this is happening, Japan I assume, and the cheaters and adulterers and other dudes who might not be awesome are condemned to climb blocks in their dreams, lest they fall and die for reals.

Aside from the fantastical twist and sheep and block metaphors, relationships are at the core of the game and it's refreshing to see something like this take center stage. Vincent's worries feel real and I found myself, on more than one occasion, sympathized with the fluffy-haired protagonist. The tale isn't perfect though. For the most part, Catherine seems to make the assumption that all men are really just beasts struggling to be tamed by females, which is a gross exaggeration at its best and it confused me how nervous Vincent felt about everything. He's been dating Katherine for years, he still is that unsure about her?

Overall, Vincent is an idiot, but in that my idiot kind of way. I felt bad for him, but he really could have made the situation a lot easier by just being honest with some. Anyone! Instead, he ends up lying to both girls (to a certain extend which you an control) and sweating for a week when I figured, in reality, someone in his situation, would man up and make a freaking decision. Things feel a bit drawn out towards day 4 and 5, but a few twists pop up afterwards which gives the story much needed legs, thankfully, so its not that bad.

Wait...so...boy, it's hot in here.

 You get to control Vincent in the bar as he gets hammered with his friends, talk to random people about their issues, and text your girls in hopes of getting a scandalous shot back, but Catherine is at it's core about blocks, blocks, and more blocks. When Vincent leaves the bar, his nightmares are consumed with block puzzles that has you try to get to the top of a wall segment as the blocks underneath you slowly fall away. The further along you get, the trickier things become as more and more elements begin to be introduced, such as blocks that explode, stab, make you slide, etc. There are also boss battles where a creature of horrific appearance or proportion will chase you and try to mess you up by throwing even more obstacles at you.

Is that...I think...IT IS!

 

 

There's a method to the madness of climbing, as you learn techniques as you go that help getting to next ledge make a bit more sense. You are told earlier on that randomly pulling blocks will get you no where, and that's definitely the truth. Countless times I found myself just pulling blocks in a panic (who can blame me when an ass is trying to crush you) only to get stuck in an impossible situation. But when you learn to chill the f out, things get a bit more easier to handle. A stress a bit. The best way to take each part it to observe what's ahead of you and think. It's easy to put yourself into work yourself into a corner, which is where the "redo" function comes into play, rewinding you back a move. But besides all of this, in the end, climbing is hard.

Balls hard.

The traps and dangers are plenty and all it takes is one move to kill you. And the fact that the controls are a bit wonky doesn't help. One particular problem I hit time and time again is with the spike blocks, which shoot up these blades when you step on them. If you run over the block you're fine, but space is a luxury and alot of times you'll want to set off the block and then use it. I felt like atleast 100 times, without exaggeration, I tried running on it and then quickly off, but would get killed regardless of how quickly I taped the button. And you never get used to the sight of Vincent exploding in a burst of blood. It's always frustration. By instinct, I relied on the d-pad but found myself often having to double tap to move, where with the stick Vincent will just go. This isn't always a good thing though because going past your target block slows you down, and time is definitely a factor. Tie that in with a not so great checkpoint system and Catherine is a perfect recipe to make you want to throw your controller across the floor.

Oddly enough though, Catherine has that quality about it that, right after dying, you want to immediately try again. Not sure exactly why to be honest. There were tons of times where I was cursing like a stuid death ahd me cursing like a sailor, but I just got back on it without thinking twice. Even, during the last stages(which you always think you are at only to find another 5 more are waiting) I was ready to tear my eyes out but never thought about giving up. I think it's the fact that maybe winning never feels impossible, just hard to obtain. If you can just get to that next ledge.

In terms of replay, there's definitely a lot to do once the curtain falls. There are 8 different possible endings based on your moral rating and your decisions in the last stage and, from the ones I've seen thus, they differ pretty substantially for the most part. Getting them all isn't that bad either since if you get a gold prize on a nightmare stage, you can skip it on another playthrough of the same difficulty. With that and not caring about the other characters or texts or drinks, you can basically skip everything and get to the ending after 30 minutes or so, and even shorter if you make a separate save file on the way. Getting the golds are kind of a bitch though (like everything in this game) because basically you need to get to the top of each puzzle in one shot quickly enough to keep your point chain going and not dying, since that will reset it. Say adios to the checkpoints.

Besides that, there is hard mode which differs from normal in terms of the nightmare stages, Rapunzel, which is an arcade game at the bar that has 128 levels of basic block puzzles, and Babel, a frantic climb to the top of a randomly generated wall, complete with leaderboards that compares your time to the top to others. It's a lot to sink your teeth into, but honestly, I think I'm getting a little burned out with the puzzles. Originally I was planning for a platnium run, but after getting golds on all the normal boards, the thought of doing it all again on hard has me fearing for my blood pressure. I might see if I can overcome Babel first and then make a decision.

Don't mind me, I'm just hanging in there.

Overall, Catherine isn't going to go down as one of my favorite games this generation, but it certainly will be among the most memorable, in a good way. There just really isn't anything out there like it and, from that alone, deserves a few days of any gamers time. From the first few weeks, Catherine also appears to be a commercial hit, for Atlas's standards anyways. Hopefully that will prove to publishers that it's ok to make a game that doesn't have you shooting heads off. Although, there were times climbing that shooting someone's head would have felt good. Real good.